Between the Sexes: A Self-Help Guide to Building a Successful and Loving Relationship

Claude A. Guldner is a professor of family studies at the University of
Guelph.

The authors of this little book have done an excellent job of creating a handbook for men and women. Although it is designed primarily for marital couples, it could be used in various contexts in which men and women need to learn to function creatively as a unit. There is also much here which will be helpful for professionals who are working with couples in therapy, in enrichment, and in educational contexts.

This book reflects the 1980’s, and this is evident in chapters one and two, where the authors discuss the changes in social rules and modes for adapting to that change. They then go on to discuss five personalities in relationships which reflect the current social climate. The next section looks at the stages that a relationship moves through on its way toward maturity. These chapters set the stage. The chapters which follow are practical work-outs for improving relationships. The book does not lecture, but rather creates a context for experimentation with the ideas discussed. These can be done individually or by the couple. These topics focus on such aspects as learning how to assess the quality of the relationship, and communication, especially learning the skills of listening and hearing one another. The authors suggest that love, sex, money, and sex roles are the primary topics of communication for modern couples. There is an important chapter on dealing creatively with conflict and anger. Finally the focus turns to sex in long-term relationships. A final chapter discusses how to find help when a relationship deteriorates beyond what couples can remedy by themselves.