What Are We Going to Do Now?: Helping Your Parents in Their Senior Years

Marcia Sweet, formerly head of the Douglas Library’s
Information/Reference Unit at Queen’s University and editor of the
Queen’s Quarterly, is currently an information consultant and
freelance editor.

Written by a geriatrician and memory specialist at McMaster University,
this is a practical guide intended for adult children who face the
problem of caring for elderly parents.

The book deals sensitively with such issues as sexuality, health,
independence, loneliness, and fear of being institutionalized. It
describes normal physical changes that accompany aging; tells readers
how to select a retirement or nursing facility; and deals effectively
with relationships and communication between the generations. The author
wisely refrains from assuming that parent-child relationships are always
positive. He gives advice on conflict resolution and suggests how adult
children can limit their involvement—for instance, by taking advantage
of respite care facilities.

Molloy is at his best discussing the side effects of drugs commonly
prescribed for older people and the devastating effect of overmedication
and drug interactions. Unfortunately, much of his book is devoted to
preachy musings about living life properly. One essay, “The Old
Joker,” is unclear, silly, and tasteless in the disparaging way it
presents seniors. The author briefly—and somewhat
irrelevantly—discusses the effect of diet on longevity, but refers
only glancingly to older people’s need for exercise and intellectual
stimulation. One particularly interesting chapter discusses medical and
pharmaceutical research on longevity and warns of the quacks who prey on
those who resist the aging process.

Despite its shortcomings, this is an often eloquent and insightful book
that will be of particular value to those dealing with issues of care,
treatment, and institutionalization of their parents.