Family Ties That Bind: A Self-Help Guide to Change Through Family of Origin Therapy

Margaret E. Kidd is a member of Toronto’s Child & Family Services
Review Board.

This little book is part of a Self-Counsel Series for normal, average people. Those with special problems are advised to seek a professional counsellor.

Ronald Richardson, a practitioner in Vancouver, carefully explains family of origin therapy, showing that in spite of the ingrained influence of the dynamics of one’s family of origin, it is possible to change. He states that his purpose is “to help you find new ways to deal with early family environment and be more in charge of your own life.” Or, to put it another way: “how to be close to these significant people while continuing to feel like one’s own person.”

The subject is handled with authentic professional clarity. One is introduced to different and better ways of dealing with family relationships. He gives many examples of family dynamics to make us aware of possible sources of trouble. With such information personal problems can be more manageable. The goal is to establish a satisfying adult life through learning to deal with the “forces” in one’s family of origin.

Treatment of the subject matter is descriptive rather than prescriptive. He sets forth a series of questions and issues for the reader to consider and analyze. This is no “study in depth” but a brief overview, spelling out the attributes of the well-differentiated person in an effective presentation of theory. He has included a chapter on birth order and gender by his wife, Lois Richardson, which fits consistently with the total analysis.

Although this book is easy to read, Dr. Richardson makes it plain that the self-counselling process requires real motivation and effort. His statement of purpose is a challenge: “The more we react to others, the more we lose touch with our own goals and become caught in other people’s agendas for us. The ability to be close to others and yet not become enmeshed in their opinions, wants and evaluations is the sign of an emotionally mature person.