Survival Strategies for Couples: A Self-Help Book

Robert B. MacIntyre is head of the Centre for Relationship Therapy and
Education in Orangeville, Ontario.

This book for couples wishing to improve their relationship, or prevent its collapse, is full of practical suggestions, general wisdom, and lists of things to remember or to do. Sections cover developing skills in basic communication, expressing and enhancing love, and deepening, or reviving, sexual intimacy. Problem solving, making compromises, and constructive ways of fighting are each given their prescriptions and lists of reminders. Contemporary issues facing couples (such as division of labour in a two-income family, sexual openness in a marriage, and dealing with the crisis of separation and divorce) are discussed with brief case histories. The author presents realistic options and possibilities for the various problems affecting relationships. While avoiding any specific moral or value stand, he carefully exposes the “myths” about marriage and love that have come down from both our romantic and our Victorian traditions. To apply the material here, however, without the support of sympathetic others, would require a considerable degree of commitment to the relationship and to each other. For such committed couples, or as an adjunct to other forms of couple therapy, the book could be a useful tool. The surface simplicity of the suggestions and examples provided do not quite mask the complexities and difficulties underlying the building and maintaining of a relationship.