Taking Care: A Self-Help Guide for Coping with an Elderly, Chronicall Ill, or Disabled Relative

Ruth Kennedy was a librarian and fitness instructor in Islington, Ontario.

The potential care-giver of an adult relative or spouse, or someone presently fulfilling this role, will find the information here very valuable. Numerous unforeseen problems can arise as a result of lack of planning for such events as the illness of the care-giver, the necessity for time away for personal needs, dealing with relatives or friends who are critical or unwilling to assist, and how the care-giver will feel about the care-receiver after a time.

Many care-givers will probably be unaware of the amount of work necessary to keep all financial records. Everything to do with finances should be thoroughly understood before beginning. Lists of all the requirements needed by the care-receiver — care of clothes, bedding changing, assistance needed in moving, letter writing, medication, phone calls, etc — should be in writing. The care-giver also needs to be a time-manager, and with the assistance of the charts will learn how to record and plan time more efficiently.

Some of the other problem areas to be considered, preferably beforehand, are how to cope with loneliness, terminal illness, burial plans, wills, and such interpersonal conflicts as the care-receiver who is too sweet, is a repetitious chatterer, or is unreasonable. Included are helpful hints on hearing aids, denture care, mouth, foot, and eye difficulties. There are often community resources available but perhaps not known to the care-receiver; the names of these are included as well as a list of patient rights.

Jill Watt and Ann Calder have both been family care-givers. Watt is a registered nurse and has served as a resource person to the Consumers Association of Canada. She is active in local gerontology associations and leads seminars on care-giving and coping with grief.