The Power of Appreciation in Everyday Life

Karen F. Danielson, Ph.D., is a research consultant at Laurentian
University who specializes in leisure, textiles, family life, and Japan.

Noelle Nelson’s book looks at about 50 situations where people get
into trouble because they fail to appreciate themselves, their partners,
their children, their work, or their financial situation. In each, she
sketches a typical dilemma and then explains how practical strategies
for appreciation can lead to a solution. For example, in dealing with a
miserable situation, she advises the reader to write down all the wrongs
and then put them aside in order to proceed with healing. Her
recommendation is to focus on the appreciation of positive factors
rather than dwelling on problems. She cautions that focusing on problems
is like picking at a scab—it interferes with healing. The book
contains many quotations that give added strength to such points. In
this case she quotes Confucius: “Our greatest glory is not in never
falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Nelson finds an untapped power in strategies like actively looking for
a benefit, listening, learning from criticism, building support systems,
taking a broader perspective, recognizing another person’s perceptual
mode, and controlling the meaning you give to events. In each case, it
is not just about words or thoughts. Instead, she identifies a powerful
force in actions that lead directly to success.

In conclusion, Nelson reports that the ability to appreciate things in
everyday life is one trait centenarians have in common. Acts of
gratitude and positive thinking do not qualify as appreciation, however,
since active searching for something of value is required. She notes
that this kind of appreciation has an effect on heart rate, blood flow,
and brain function. Appreciation as Nelson presents it is a strong
theme, and her examples are likely to provide effective guidance for
anyone seeking to improve relationships with other people at home or at
work.