Nobody's Mother: Life Without Kids

Janet Arnett is the former campus manager of adult education at Ontario’s Georgian College. She is the author of Antiques and Collectibles: Starting Small, The Grange at Knock, and 673 Ways to Save Money.

Are children the universal reason for being? Twenty-one women, mostly
from British Columbia, have contributed essays to this exploration of
that meaning-of-life question. In intensely personal accounts, the
writers share their perspective on and individual acceptance of the
childless state, whether they are childless by choice or by chance.

Society’s assumptions and presumptions are looked at from many angles
as several of the contributors address the near-taboo issues: you’re
too selfish to have kids; you must be barren; you must be lonely;
you’ll die alone, unloved, and uncared for.

Some of the contributors always wanted to be childless; others came to
that state after circumstances and life events intervened. For some, the
decision is a product of their relationship with their own mother, while
for others it’s a choice based on ethics: given overpopulation, the
overuse of the earth’s resources, and the millions of children already
in existence who need a mother, why would choosing not to add to the
population be a negative?

Several of the essays discuss the joy of mothering without being a
biological mother. Many relate experiences parenting siblings,
stepchildren, nieces, and nephews, even aging parents. The roles of
aunt, godparent, and stepparent receive considerable attention. The
message is clearly that not every woman needs her own child to complete
her life.

Stylistically, the essays show some variation, but all are sharp,
lively, and imaginative. Some of the writers bring humour to their
contributions, others a touch of bravado and bluster.

The book breaks new ground in openly explaining what is often a
forbidden topic, addressing with honesty and personal sharing the
perspective of highly articulate women who have come to recognize that
“there are many ways to replenish the Earth and there are many ways to
live a full life.”