Our Son, a Stranger: Adoption Breakdown and Its Effects on Parents

Patricia Fenton is chair of the Adoption Council of Ontario.

Our Son, a Stranger details the tragedy of adoption breakdown as
experienced by five families. One of those families was the author and
her husband. Their son, of Cree background, was adopted at age 2, left
home at age 12, and died on the streets at the age of 21. In analyzing
her own experience, and that of the four other adoptive families with
Aboriginal children, Adams gives an excellent account of the emotional
responses that parents experience when their expectations are not met
and tragedy strikes, shattering their dreams.

She also identifies key issues in older-child adoption, cross-racial
adoption, and particularly the adoption of First Nations children.
Approaches now considered best practice were not available to Adams and
the other families, who genuinely believed they were doing the right
thing (in keeping with government policy at the time). Very little
background information was shared with them (today, these children would
likely be recognized as having attachment disorder and/or fetal alcohol
spectrum disorder), and the system failed to provide the kinds of
support their children needed. Ultimately, this book is a strong call
for adoption preparation, post-adoption services, and better
understanding of issues in cross-racial adoption.