Mobsters and Thugs: Quotes from the Underworld

Steve Pitt is a Toronto-based freelance writer and an award-winning journalist. He has written many young adult and children's books, including Day of the Flying Fox: The True Story of World War II Pilot Charley Fox.

“You buy a judge by weight, like iron in a junkyard. A justice of the
peace or a magistrate can be had for a five-dollar bill. In municipal
court he will cost you ten. In circuit or superior courts he wants
fifteen. The state appellate court or the supreme court is on par with
the federal courts. By the time a judge reaches such courts he is
middle-aged, thick around the middle, fat between the ears. He’s
heavy. You can’t buy a federal judge for less than a twenty-dollar
bill.”

The above statement, attributed to Jake Greasy Thumb Guzik, is a sample
of the contents of this handbook, which lists more than 200 quotes from
some of the worst dregs of the American underworld. Other contributors
include Chicken Man, Two Gun, Three Fingers, Vinny the Chin, Happy Jack,
Crazy Joe, Ragtime Joe, Polack Joe, Kid Dropper, Kid Twist, Kid Twirl,
Murray the Camel, Mr. Big, Russian Louie, Machine Gun McGurn, The
Waiter, The Lump, The Weasel, The Greaser, Bugs, Golf Bag, Cheesebox,
Waxey, and Pretty. Olindo Romeo Chiocca arranges his quotes in four
chapters: “There Is No Mafia,” “Top Ten Hits (As Selected by
Killboard Magazine),” “Pre-Organized Crime Days,” and “Organized
Crime Days.”

Chiocca is an engineer by profession and this book, although
entertaining, suffers from a few format lapses that will annoy the
diehard history fan. For example, there is no table of contents and no
index for easy reference. However, if you are into light history and
have even a passing interest in the old-time gangsters, this book will
give you a few laughs and probably one or two shudders.