How to Be a Canadian: (Even If You Already Are One)

Lynne Perras teaches communication arts at the University of Calgary.

Will Ferguson, author of Why I Hate Canadians, and brother Ian offer a
tongue-in-cheek look at our national identity in this thoroughly
enjoyable book. They examine a plethora of subjects such as geography,
language, leisure, sports, food, romance, social values, politics,
and—of course— beer. And they underscore our self-deprecating
attitude through such chapter titles as “Canadian Cuisine (and How to
Avoid It),” “Imports, Exports and Escorts (How to Make Money Like a
Canadian (or Not),” “Progressive Conservatives, Responsible
Government and Other Oxymorons (How to Rule Like a Canadian),” and
“Twelve Ways to Say ‘I’m Sorry’ (How to Be Canadian—in the
Worst Way).”

One of the funniest sections of the book dissects the sport of curling,
noting how the term “sheet” “refers to the ice surface and to the
condition of most players (sheets per wind: three)” and defining
“guard” as the “guy who keeps an eye on the case of beer when his
team is on the ice.” The brothers’ analysis of national news also is
revealing and hilarious: the National Post’s headline describing the
sinking of the Titanic would read, “Liberal cutbacks to shipping
industry cost lives,” while in response to the same event, the Sun
would proclaim, “Wet T-Shirt Contest!” The Fergusons invite the
reader to laugh along with them at Canada’s peculiarities as well as
its sacred cows.