Battling the School-Yard Bully: How to Raise an Assertive Child in an Aggressive World

Elizabeth Levin is a psychology professor at Laurentian University.

This is a book about bullies and how to deal with being bullied. The
first three chapters look at what bullying is, what bullies are like,
and how bullies can be helped. Bullying is seen as having long-term
negative effects on the bully, victim, and witnesses, and is not
outgrown. Bullies can be surprisingly intelligent and self-assured; they
are often born leaders. Bullies may see themselves as popular.
Ironically, while bullies are generally not well liked by their peers,
these same peers frequently nominate the bullies as leaders.

The next three chapters look at the victim. Suggestions are provided
for recognizing the child who is being bullied and for helping the
victim avoid future attacks. Both parents and teachers have a role to
play. Many will be surprised that tattling is seen as a positive
behavior. While tattling has typically been discouraged, Zarzour points
out that unless kids feel free to report bullying (and receive support
when they do), the bully will continue to reign over the schoolyard.
Parents are given advice on how to help their children respond to
bullying and on how to parent better. For example, enhancing a child’s
self-esteem can help prevent the child from becoming a victim. The
advice given on sports is somewhat confusing. Sports are seen as
enhancing self-confidence, yet one has to watch out for coaches, who may
be bullies themselves. Many suggestions are provided for both teachers
and administrators who wish to foster bully-free schools. In general,
the whole school needs to be involved.

The next chapter looks at broader social influences on aggression such
as the media and sports. The final chapter deals with how to raise a
nonvictim: that is, how to raise an assertive child in an aggressive
world.

The book is well written and raises many thought-provoking ideas. Case
studies and anecdotes are skilfully intertwined in the text. Parents of
bullies and of victims, teachers, and even some older
children/adolescents will find this a worthwhile read, one they won’t
want to put down.