Not Like Dad: One Man's Story of Recovery from Incest

Ian C. Nelson is assistant director of libraries at the University of
Saskatchewan and président, La Troupe du Jour, Regina Summer Stage.

The popular bookshelves are rapidly filling with personal narratives of
women telling their stories of survival from sexual abuse and incest. It
is a sorry comment on our times and on the violation of human trust,
although it is important and therapeutic for these stories to be told.
Until recently, the literature of sexual abuse for male victims was
confined to a bare half-dozen self-help and clinical guides written by
professional therapists; prime among these were Mike Lew’s Victims No
Longer and Mic Hunter’s Abused Boys. Both of these classic texts
include case histories (some amalgams) to give the theories and clinical
experiences a human face. In this book, the author brings to the
literature a book dedicated to the personal perspective: “one man’s
story of recovery from incest.” He takes a basically chronological
view of his life, offering his insights into what happened to him and to
his reactions. Not surprisingly, his struggle has included substance
abuse, eating disorders, relationship problems, extreme efforts of
control (of self and others), and a sad faзade of happiness and
achievement. It is a harrowing story of denial and disintegration that
fortunately ends with acknowledgement, therapy, and healing. The
author’s words of advice regarding the value of therapy are persuasive
and probably very apropos for male readers struggling with the need to
ask for professional help. There are two useful appendices: a checklist
“Are You an Alcoholic?” and a “Sexual Effects Inventory.” The
short bibliography is adequate and includes a list of resource groups in
Canada.