Looking in the Mirror

Pauline Carey is the author of Magic and What’s in a Name?

In 1983, Barbara Turnbull was shot in a convenience store and left
paralyzed from the neck down. Today she works as a reporter at The
Toronto Star, moves her wheelchair with her head, and uses a mouthstick
to write on a computer. In this book, she writes clearly and candidly
about the difficult years of adjustment and growth.

The mechanics of her daily life will be an eye-opener for most readers.
From the start, she had to rely on a large and ever-changing team of
attendants and her own family, a constant source of stress for all
involved. A small part of this dependence has by now been lessened by a
mind-boggling array of sophisticated equipment. For example, by using
the head control in her wheelchair, she can switch on a light in her
condo.

Victims’ rights are addressed throughout the book. Turnbull first
learned of the upcoming trial from an item in the media; the
prosecutors’ behavior toward her was sometimes extremely callous. At
her attacker’s first parole hearing, he was able to stop her from
appearing. By his second hearing, the law had changed and she was there;
her first reaction was to think how good-looking he was.

Although her story is full of small insensitivities and large cruelties
(she admits that “the great rage within [her] remains buried”),
Turnbull has emerged with a sound ego and a healthy sense of humor.
Naturally shy as a child, she has learned to speak out for what she
wants and to go after what she needs. Her venture into sexual needs is a
tale in itself, showing her courage, her determination, and her ultimate
acceptance of what is right for her.

Turnbull credits actor/director Christopher Reeve with changing her
life. Through his activities on behalf of people with spinal cord
injuries, he has given her the great gift of hope.