The Inside Story

Pauline Carey is the author of Magic and What’s in a Name?

Three days before entering the Jesuit novitiate at Guelph, Ontario, the
author was rolling around on a bed with a girl he scarcely knew. This
values conflict put him in a state of high anxiety that was assuaged
only when he found a priest to hear his confession so that he would not
start his quest for the priesthood in a state of mortal sin. Apparently
no warning bells went off regarding his suitability for the quest,
however, and the years that followed were full of doubt, guilt,
insomnia, sex, alcohol, and the “savage dogs” to which he frequently
refers.

A large part of this story of self-discovery details Neil McKenty’s
15-year training for the priesthood, from his novitiate training (which
included a twice-weekly self-flagellation) to his later studies, which
culminated in two MA degrees and a history thesis that became a
published biography of Mitch Hepburn, premier of Ontario. His Jesuit
guides certainly recognized his interests and talents, but seemingly
failed to notice the state of his soul.

After leaving the Jesuits, McKenty became active in a Christian
meditation movement, entered a happy marriage, and began a successful
career as a talk-show host in Montreal. However, the re-emergence of the
savage dogs precipitated another crisis. It took the intervention of a
man called Jim to set McKenty on the road to recovery. Readers of this
searching tale of a talented but severely damaged man are left with the
hopeful message that it’s never too late for things to change.