Never Let Go: The Tragedy of Kristy McFarlane

Marshall Fine was Assistant Professor of Family Studies, University of Guelph, Ontario.

Tom MacDonnell has written a story about a mother-and-daughter relationship that most parents would prefer not to have to consider. After all, our daughters would never turn to the street, to pimps, to prostitution, and to drugs. Yet the reader begins to appreciate that there are things in life which are not predictable, no matter how “good” a parent one might be. The street and its people had an appeal to Kristy McFarlane, and the attraction did not seem to fit with her upbringing.

Essentially, this book describes the relationship processes and personal thoughts and feelings of Kristy and her mother Sheila as they struggle with unexpected and unfamiliar events. Kristy is attracted by the liveliness and intrigue of the streets, yet still loves and feels close to her mother. Sheila struggles to find some way to comprehend what is happening to her daughter and relentlessly fights to pull Kristy back from the streets. Throughout, the reader gains a unique glimpse of the social systems involved in the lives of these two people — the police, courts, social service agencies, friends, pimps, and street women. MacDonnell introduces direct verbal accounts from both Kristy and Sheila which give insight into the specific thoughts of these two people. Finally, one cannot help but mourn for, and wonder about, Kristy’s unexpected death. It is hard to imagine anything more painful for a parent than the death of a child — particularly a mysterious death. Did the street have its way in the end?

It was fascinating to hear a young adolescent talk of street life in positive ways, while I could only think of how cold, insecure, lonely, and dangerous it all seemed. At the same time, however, Kristy’s account gave me some insight into why it would be so difficult to expect some street people to change their ways and adopt more “conservative” routes. Life on the street has something to offer. While the point may be argued, I tend to get the impression that Kristy liked her street life, not only because of the obvious excitement it appeared to offer, but because it seemed to give her a sense of self-definition.

In general, this book offers a unique perspective in a number of important areas. The reader is privy to an intense mother-daughter struggle which few if any parents or children would wish to experience. We witness the love between these two strong and devoted people and we watch as they pursue their own paths with dogged determination. We gain a unique perspective on street life, which can be very informative and compelling to read. Finally, and somewhat indirectly, we cannot help but look at our own young children and wonder what they might someday “see” in the streets as they grow older.