Playing to Lose

Ashley Thomson is a full librarian at Laurentian University and co-editor or co-author of nine books, most recently Margaret Atwood: A Reference Guide, 1988-2005.

At age 4, in 1960, Stewart Bentley was forced to carry a 10-pound box of
spikes for his father. At 5, he got whacked on the bum with a
two-by-four for loitering; he later that year, was stuffed into the
trunk of his dad’s 1949 Packard to teach him “not to be afraid.”
Also at age 5, he was forced to strip naked and got whacked on his
privates. (And this is just page 1!) In real life, Bentley’s dad was
an electrical contractor who attended church regularly.

Bentley was not alone in his dad’s house. Kids “numbered 3 to 14”
were there. So was Mom; but she did nothing to stop her husband, and
neither did the social workers. After years of abuse, Bentley wanted to
kill his father; instead, a stroke got the old man and Bentley was able
to move away from home (at age 16), attend school in Toronto, get a job,
get married, and have kids of his own. But Bentley became an abuser and
finally, to protect his family as much as himself, he left. His struggle
to “break the cycle” of abuse is the most riveting section of the
memoir.

Although not a professional writer, Bentley has penned a story that
rings painfully and powerfully true.