How to Speak Pirate: A Treasure Chest of Seafaring Slang.

Janet Collins is a freelance writer in Sechelt, British Columbia.

Well, shiver me timbers! I’ll be a brain-witted chowder head for not knowing there is more to pirate lingo than the occasional avast or arr! Thanks to this book, September 19—aka International Talk like a Pirate Day—will never be the same.

Perhaps due to the popularity of Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean ride and the ride-inspired films of the same name, “lingua pira” has never been more popular.

Author Geordie Telfer’s lexicon not only offers suitable pirate-speak alternatives to common English expressions, but several entries are given generous descriptions of their historical basis as well as suggestions regarding appropriate occasions for their use. There’s even advice on how to order food in a restaurant. Tips on choosing an appropriate pirate name are also included—simply combine an adjective/noun, a given name, and an optional additional descriptor. Who can resist the charm of monikers such as Black Ned the Bloodthirsty, Scurvy Joe the Forgetful, or possibly Swordfish Ignatius the Flatulent?

But be warned: while the book is clearly designed for fun, some of the content might not be suitable for all ages. The sections on exclamations, insults, and swearing could be especially problematic as well as the section on dating/sex. For example, the definition for hugsome reads: “Can be used to describe either rogues or wenches and has the advantage of sounding cuddly and non-threatening when it really means you’d like to jump their crossbones and jolly roger them until the break of day (or the breaking of the bed, whichever comes first).”