Splitting Up: Divorce, Culture, and the Search for a Real Life

Robert B. MacIntyre is head of the Centre for Relationship Therapy and
Education in Orangeville, Ontario.

According to the author of this book, divorce is more than a personal
tragedy—it is an inevitable social and cultural consequence of a
society based on consumption. What Frolick calls the “mall marriage”
is a “welter of unexamined subjective assumptions” about what a
marriage is or should be and about what one’s role in it is. Divorce
is the result of the working out of these unexpressed assumptions
(usually about what the other person should be doing) and the conflicts
this entails. For many people, the presence of conflict means that the
marriage is not right and that it is therefore time for another trip to
the mall. For the author, however, divorce may be the beginning of
awakening from unconscious assumptions and the start of authentic and
conscious living

With degrees in law and anthropology and 20 years practising family
law, Frolick brings to the book both a scholarly understanding and a
wealth of stories from the war zone of marriages on the rocks. He covers
all stages of the divorce process, but focuses particular attention on
life after divorce, discussing such issues as dating and sex, single
parenting, and establishing new relationships. Also dealt with are the
practical issues of feeding, dressing, housing, and entertaining oneself
after the divorce. Frolick suggests living your life, not simply waiting
for someone else to come in and fill your refrigerator, decorate your
place, and suggest interesting things to do and places to go. His book
is at once accessible, useful, and thought-provoking.