Courtesy Becomes Me

Elizabeth Levin is a professor of psychology at Laurentian University.

Lewena Bayer and Karen Mallett write an Internet manners column and run
a courtesy camp for kids, so they are well versed in teaching children
good manners. What works in those formats, however, falls flat in book
form.

Both books feature covers with a boy and a more prominent girl
reminiscent of the 1950s, presumably a hint that we should return to the
manners of a bygone era. The text is dense, with an occasional
black-and-white photograph or illustration on each page—not the kind
of colorful and engaging format children expect to see these days.

Parents may want these books for their children, but children are not
likely to want to read them, and probably those who do read them are
least in need of the information. Some of the rules regarding eating and
drinking etiquette are basic, such as always wash your hands before a
meal; others are more imaginative, such as don’t point with your
utensils, which are for eating. Other rules of etiquette are debatable;
these include admonitions to wash your hair every time you shower or to
carry breath mints, which does not seem like a wise suggestion for
children. Another controversial recommendation to answer the phone as
quickly as possible because it is impolite to keep others waiting, does
not take into account that the child might be busy eating dinner or
working on homework. If your child needs lessons in etiquette skip the
books and sign up for camp. Not a first-choice purchase.