The Pimple That Wouldn't Stop Growing

Kelly L. Green is co-author of The Ethical Shopper’s Guide to Canadian
Supermarket Products and associate editor of the Canadian Book Review
Annual.

This repugnant little book has something to offend everyone. The title
does not lie: the story really is about an enormous, elongated, very
phallic-looking pimple, and the child (a girl mind you) who “owns”
it.

After trying to hide the pimple growing on her nose with makeup, a
Band-Aid, and a ski mask, Elizabeth finally gives up, cries, and goes to
bed, only to have the pimple keep growing and wander off by itself.
Finally, a doctor gives her a truckload of pimple-busting ointment,
which her friends help her ladle on with paint rollers, and finally the
pimple disappears. But what ho! The next morning she wakes up to find a
little brown wart on her chin! The message promoted here is that one can
never stop worrying about how one looks (especially if one is a little
girl) and that if one’s appearance is flawed in any way, the
appropriate response is to hide, cry, and take to one’s bed.

The unfunny biographical notes on the two male artists who wrote and
illustrated the book tell us that they have each had problems with
pimples. (The illustrator “once thought he had a really big pimple on
his shoulders but it turned out to be his head.”) We wonder why they
did not choose a little boy for their protagonist. And why a picture
book? The content of this book, even if it were not stupid, sexist, and
disgusting, is not appropriate for a format aimed at younger children.

No doubt this book is meant to be hilariously funny. Neither I nor
anyone to whom I have shown it has found its sophomoric humor remotely
amusing. With so many excellent authors and illustrators looking for
publishing support, it is absolutely dumbfounding that such a book could
make it into print. Len Walbourne does have talent as an illustrator. I
hope he devotes his efforts to more worthy projects in future. Not
recommended.