Intentional Grandparenting: A Boomer's Guide

Anne Hutchings, a former elementary-school teacher-librarian with the
Durham Board of Education, is an educational consultant.

A young friend, when asked to say a few words at her grandmother’s
memorial service, declined, explaining that she couldn’t think of a
single thing. How sad that the grandmother had so little impact on her
granddaughter’s life. How different from the grandmother who, on the
day her first granddaughter was born, was given a brooch with the
inscription, “When a child is born, so is a grandma.” Years later
she still wears that brooch.

For those who want to be the best grandparents they can but are unsure
as to how to proceed, Peggy Edwards and Mary Jane Sterne have developed
a blueprint for becoming an intentional grandparent. They identify 10
principles for effective grandparenting: “[D]etermine the kind of
grandparent you want to be; respect and support the parents; be open to
new possibilities; embrace diversity; be accepting, empathetic and
positive; be playful and spontaneous; be consistent, reliable and fair;
stay in touch; be organized but flexible; and take care of you.”

An entire chapter is devoted to each principle. The chapter begins with
a discussion of how times have changed over the years. No judgments are
made. No one generation or idea or practice is deemed better than the
other—just different, with a different set of challenges. A host of
practical suggestions are offered. Real-life stories, questions and
answers, and a summary of the latest research on the topic is included.
The chapter concludes with a section called The Last Word, which sums up
and/or illustrates the topics discussed. The book ends with lists for
further reading and useful websites.

Often humorous, sometimes poignant, filled with practical common-sense
suggestions, Intentional Grandparenting is a very readable, highly
entertaining guide.