The Little Book of Canadian Political Wisdom

Geoff Hayes is an associate professor of History and the Director of
International Studies Option at the University of Waterloo.

Canadian politicians are not generally known for their oratory, and the
age of the sound bite has not helped. Some have little grasp of
geography, history, irony, or good grammar, which says a good deal about
the level of debate in our country. Set beside a smattering of Donato
cartoons, Broadhead has pulled together 100 of the “most humorous and
outrageous comments ever made by Canadian politicians, past or present,
famous or obscure.” The results are rather sobering. Jean Chrétien
earns top billing for the “most nonsensical statement during a
speech” with remarks that began: “Seals don’t eat beef.”
Chrétien has nine of his remarks captured here, more than any other.
Enough said.

Words mattered more in an earlier time, especially when they were
spoken by people like John Diefenbaker. During the 1957 election
campaign, Dief said, “Someone has given me a copy of the Prime
Minister’s speech. I don’t know why they bothered. There’s nothing
in it.” Such quips helped make Diefenbaker prime minister.

Tommy Douglas was equally adept with a clever phrase. When asked how a
non-farmer could comment on farming, Douglas replied, “I never laid an
egg either, but I know more about making an omelette than a hen does.”
Douglas also once remarked that “Canada is like an old cow. The West
feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what
it’s doing in the Maritimes.”

No “modern” politician, not even Pierre Trudeau, could match the
wit and venom of Diefenbaker and Douglas. And what about the real
orators? Broadhead should search the speeches of John A. Macdonald or
Wilfrid Laurier to find the real zingers of Canadian political debate.

Andy Donato’s cartoons only confirm the alleged stupidity of our
elected leaders. Whether Joe Clark’s ears, Brian Mulroney’s chin, or
Jean Chrétien’s mouth, Donato’s caricatures are never subtle. But
then, neither are many politicians.

A very light read, but worth an occasional smile—or grimace.