One Hundred and One Ways to Recycle a Hockey Stick: The Definitive Guide

Raymond B. Blake is an assistant professor of history at Mount Allison
University in New Brunswick.

Ever wonder what use can be made of that broken or worn hockey stick
lying around the garage? If so, this is the book for you. David More, an
artist and humorist living in Red Deer, Alberta, who writes under the
pen name of Professor Floydd Mackenzie, has found many uses for the used
hockey stick. In this age of environmentalism, Professor Mackenzie
suggests that no hockey stick need find its way to the landfill site.
They are great as “eavestrough cleaners” or for “flicking
doggy-doo into neighbors yards.” They make wonderful furniture, too!
If you have no need for a love seat or an easy chair, which you can
easily construct from old Titans or Sherwoods, you might put that old
hockey stick to medical use as splendid splints or an emergency crutch,
or as a walking stick. I found its use as a children’s growth chart
quite ingenious for families who move often and cannot take their walls
with them. But I might pass on using shortened hockey sticks as
temporary eyeglass replacement arms.

It’s too bad that Professor Mackenzie did not provide assembly
instructions; the fine graphics, however, might be just enough for
used-hockey-stick enthusiasts—and the instructions might be
forthcoming in the Professor’s next book.