Yesterday They Took My Baby: True Stories of Adoption

Patricia Fenton is chair of the Adoption Council of Ontario.

A string of personal accounts by numerous individuals touched by
adoption forms the basis of this book. The result is a mosaic of the
joys and pain experienced by birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive
parents in the lifelong process of adoption.

The provocative title is drawn from the first two chapters, which are
devoted to perspective of the birth parent. In their retrospectives,
birth parents poignantly depict their experiences and sentiments about
the social stigma of being unmarried and pregnant. Powerlessness, a
profound sense of loss, stigmatization, and secrecy are recurring themes
in their descriptions.

The adoptive parents reflect in their accounts a more open approach to
adoption than has been the case in the past. At the same time, some
express concern about their child’s plans to search for the birth
family, particularly about what that means for the adoptive
relationship.

Most of the adoptees interviewed by Wicks were adults or teens before
they learned (sometimes by accident) that they were adopted. Some have
no desire to find their birth family, whereas others feel that something
is missing and have a strong desire to know about their roots.
Ambivalence, loyalty conflicts, and other emotional dynamics are
portrayed, along with several stories of post-reunion relationships.

The book is not a research document, nor is it intended to be; rather
it is a series of stories solicited from numerous contacts throughout
the adoption community in North American and Britain. Although many
experiences are depicted, no conclusions are drawn from them. The
overall theme seems to be the complexity of relationships within the
adoption triangle.

Adoption can be a source of joy and happiness, but it also can be
accompanied by anger, guilt, grief, and alienation. Most of these
stories are based on experiences informed by the traditional secretive
approach to adoption. Will the current trend toward more openness in
adoption generate different—and happier—stories?